For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
