Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
