alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
