Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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