you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
