What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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