Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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