I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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