She said her name was "party"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
