i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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