Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
