Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
