You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
A bitchslap is in order.
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