I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
