HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
