I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
