If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
