i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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