how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
