I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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