just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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