Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
