Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
