I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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