it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize