Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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