i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
