next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize