we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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