Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
