and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
