this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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