Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
