i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
