Midget sex pt 2 tonight
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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