a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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