Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
