Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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