So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
