Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize