picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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