I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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