Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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