Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
