i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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