Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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