ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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