when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This show inspires me to have sex in space
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
