I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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