I want to have your abortion
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
