Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dick very happy bro
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
