k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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