i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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