I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
