Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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