After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My cat gives me a boner
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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