i don't like sucking hair
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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