He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
