the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
