My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
