I swear she didn't look like that last week.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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