Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
