White coat. Heels.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
