I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pants are for mortals
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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