I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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