chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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